Ron Reigns:
Welcome and thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with Kelly Rourke-Scarry and me, Ron Reigns where we delve into the issues of adoption from every angle of the adoption triad.

Speaker 2:
Do what’s best for your kid and for yourself. Because if you can’t take care of yourself, you’re definitely not going to be able to take care of that kid and that’s not fair.

Speaker 3:
And I know that my daughter would be well taken care of with them.

Speaker 4:
Don’t have an abortion. Give this child a chance.

Speaker 5:
All I could think about was needing to save my son.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My name is Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I am the Executive Director, President and co-founder of Building Arizona Families Adoption Agency, the Donna Kay Evans Foundation, and creator of the You Before Me campaign. I have a bachelor’s degree in Family Studies and Human Development and a Master’s degree in Education with an emphasis in school counseling. I was adopted at the age of three days, born to a teen birth mother, raised in a closed adoption and reunited with my birth mother in 2007. I have worked in the adoption field for over 15 years.

Ron Reigns:
And I’m Ron Reigns. I’ve worked in radio since 1999. I was the cohost of two successful morning shows in Prescott, Arizona. Now I work for my wife, who’s an adoption attorney and I’m able to combine these two great passions and share them on this podcast.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
November is officially national adoption month for over two decades, National Adoption Month has been promoted and celebrated every November in communities across the country.

Ron Reigns:
That’s fantastic.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It is fantastic. Here’s some fun facts about national adoption month. The awareness color for adoption is white.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
National adoption day is observed annually on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This is really exciting. To date, the dreams of 75,000 children in foster care have come true as part of the national adoption day events. The first national adoption day was held in 2000 by a coalition of national partners, which included Children’s Action Network, the Alliance for Children’s Rights, Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Freddie Mac foundation.

Ron Reigns:
By the way, you may not know this. Is that Dave Thomas from Wendy’s?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It is. It is Dave Thomas from Wendy’s. It is. He was adopted.

Ron Reigns:
Really?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes.

Ron Reigns:
Oh, I’m proud to know that now.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
The National Adoption Day sponsors cooperates with states, foster care agencies, child advocates, law firms and courts to complete the adoptions of children in foster care and actually it’s not just children in foster care.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
We also have newborn domestic adoptions finalized on that day as well here at Maricopa County. They’re saying across the United States, a foster child usually has to wait four years to be adopted, but more than 20,000 children age out of the foster care system at age 18 every year without a forever family or a permanent home. Really sad.

Ron Reigns:
That’s a hard, hard statistic.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It is. The aim of National Adoption Day is to provide forever families to as many children as possible. We here at Building Arizona Families have a Forever Families program and we help Arizona families adopt out of other States foster care systems. So National Adoption Month is especially near and dear to our heart.

Ron Reigns:
Very good.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Since the 70s we have looked at ways to promote adoption and the need for adoptive families. National Adoption Month was originated and targets adoptive families for foster children. That doesn’t mean that it’s solely for foster children.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It means that that was the origination behind it.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But everybody who is a member of the triad can celebrate it.

Ron Reigns:
It’s now become all encompassing, even though it wasn’t originally focused on foster children. Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So in 1976 if we want to look at some of the history of National Adoption Day, Massachusetts governor Michael Dukakis announced an adoption week to promote awareness for the adoptive families for children in foster care.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
In 1984 Ronald Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week. In 1995 President Clinton expanded the awareness week to the entire month of November. So thank you-

Ron Reigns:
President Clinton.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Thank you, President Clinton. Yeah. In 1998 President Clinton directed the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to develop a plan to expand the use of the internet as a tool to find homes for children waiting to be adopted from foster care. So again, thank you President Clinton. In 2008 President Bush provides an explanation of national adoption month in Spanish.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So again, we’re just continuing to expand, expand, educate, and increase awareness.

Ron Reigns:
And that’s also what we’re trying to do with this podcast.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Correct. The National Adoption Month is an event, again, to encourage people to learn about adoption, recognize people who have been impacted by adoption, and organize positive adoption related events.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There are so many ways you can get involved, and you and your family can learn and participate. In Maricopa County there is a huge celebration down, on National Adoption Day, at the court. It’s down at the Maricopa County juvenile court and there are booths set up outside of the courthouse, I know we have a table down there and we talk to families as they go in and out. Children come in that are being adopted. They’re dressed in their Sunday best. They’re just adorable. You’ll see tons of photographers there. It’s a beautiful event. It’s one of those that just being there gives you this sense of you’re really doing the right thing.

Ron Reigns:
You’re making a choice that’s going to positively impact the society.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There are so many ways you and your family can participate in this exciting month.

Ron Reigns:
Whether you’re a member of the adoption triad or not. You know, you can learn about the adoption triad by participating.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Because chances are if you’re not a member of the adoption triad, you may have a family member who is, or a friend, or you may have a spouse that is in the adoption world. You may have some connection. I would say if we all look at our network around us, there is more than likely somebody that has adoption in their life story.

Ron Reigns:
Right. Whatever aspect it’s from, whether adopting parents or the child or a birth mother.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Correct.

Ron Reigns:
Very good.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
If you are an adoptive family and you want to have some ideas of some fun things that you can do with your child, you can set a time where you retell the adoption story to them and you can also create a memory book that tells your child’s story.

Ron Reigns:
Right. Much like Jamie Lee Curtis’ book.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right, “Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born”. You can spread awareness through social media by including the hashtag National Adoption Month in your posts. You’re again participating in education and increasing awareness and remember the color is white.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
You can have a family movie month watching adoption, positive related movies. And Ron, I know you have a really cool list of some movies that families can watch together that are adoption positive.

Ron Reigns:
Absolutely. And actually, not all of these, most of these I have not seen, and it’s also divided into movies for children as well as movies for adult. For children, there’s movies like Angels in the Outfield, Anne of Green Gables, Annie, of course, both versions, whichever the new one or the old one from back in the eighties, early eighties maybe? Cinderella with Brandi and Whitney Houston. Despicable Me, 1 and 2, Free Willy, Finding Dory. I mean just tons of movies. Lilo and Stitch. I could go on and on and on with that. Now as far as movies for adults, most of these, I don’t know, so you may have to help me out if I don’t know them.

Ron Reigns:
A movie called Admission. Antwan Fisher. I remember that one.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
The blind side.

Ron Reigns:
The blind side is a really good one.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
That’s a really good one.

Ron Reigns:
My wife loves that movie. Cider House Rules, Cinema Paradiso, Citizen Kane, I don’t remember where the adoption came in in that one.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I don’t either.

Ron Reigns:
Okay. Greystoke. That’s one about Tarzan. Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
That was an excellent movie.

Ron Reigns:
Okay. I am Sam.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Another excellent movie.

Ron Reigns:
Okay. Another one I haven’t seen. Les Miserables.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Excellent.

Ron Reigns:
Loggerheads, Lovely and Amazing. I mean this list goes on and on. We should post it on our website.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sure. Yep, we will. We’ll post it on our website for sure.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And that way all of our listeners can go there and check out some amazing adoption movies. There are so many on this list that you would have one possibly for every day for the rest of the month.

Ron Reigns:
That’s right. There’s even the Star Wars trilogy in here.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And Superman you said.

Ron Reigns:
And Superman.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Don’t forget that Superman was adopted.

Ron Reigns:
I never do anymore.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Another thing that you can do to participate in the National Adoption Month is you can donate time or money to a local organization that supports adoption. You can read adoption related books with your child.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
You can celebrate your child’s heritage if it’s different than yours, like attending fairs, supporting your child’s heritage. I know they have lots of different community fairs this time of year. There’s one from El Salvador I just saw that’s coming up in Phoenix.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’ve been to a Greek festival. I know that there is different, like I said, different cultural fairs. Those are fun to go to. You can prepare a meal from your child’s country. We’ve got a lot of great Ethiopian restaurants here in the Valley that are fantastic.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
If you have a child that you’ve adopted from another country, you can research your child’s culture with them. Maybe you adopted domestically and your child is part Native American and maybe this is the month you learn more about the tribe.

Ron Reigns:
Interesting. These are all great ideas.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
You can also join local events that encourage community participation, and participate in events that celebrate National Adoption awareness. Again, in Maricopa County there are tables and booths that are set up on National Adoption day and I know they’re always looking for volunteers.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Lastly, you can volunteer for a local adoption agency wherever you’re listening. I can tell you volunteering for a local adoption agency is something that is always a need and it doesn’t just have to be in the month of November. It can be all year long.

Ron Reigns:
Now, okay. So, you’re the co-founder of an adoption agency Building Arizona Families here in Phoenix, Arizona. What would volunteering for Building Arizona Families look like? What would they do? How would they help?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
We have volunteer opportunities that include dropping off food boxes during the holidays at local businesses and organizations picking them up, helping us create food boxes for our clients.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It can be helping us distribute literature to doctor’s offices and other organizations that are looking for more information on adoption.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Again, it’s helping us increase adoption awareness as well as providing adoption education. And so, donations are a huge issue for local adoption agencies because we have clients that are really in need of clothing and food and other resources, so there’s lots of ways that volunteers can jump in and really help. Regardless of how you celebrate National Adoption month, remember it doesn’t just have to be the month of November that you celebrate adoption. I know we here at Birth Mother Matters podcast, at the Donna K. Evan’s Foundation, at the You Before Me campaign, and Building Arizona Families, celebrate adoption 365 days a year.

Ron Reigns:
Now you brought up the Donna K. Evans Foundation and the You Before Me campaign. Can people also participate in volunteering for them as well in this month or all year long as a matter of fact.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All year long. And we will put more information up on the website so that you can go and check out the opportunities that await you.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I know that as a nonprofit organization, we’re always looking for volunteers and we’re always looking for people that have a heart for adoption.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And if you do have a heart for adoption, and it’s not in your heart to actually adopt, that doesn’t mean that you can’t participate in adoption.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There are lots of other ways to help and you can still be a part of the beautiful process. As we continue through the month of November, happy National Adoption Month to all of the adoption triad members and to all of the people who value adoption as we do.

Ron Reigns:
And remember that National Adoption Day is Saturday the 23rd so it is the Saturday before Thanksgiving.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So Ron, I think we should end with both of us reading one of our favorite adoption quotes.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So this is by unknown, “Adopting one child won’t change the world, but for that child, the world will change”.

Ron Reigns:
“Born not from our flesh but born in our hearts. You are longed and loved from the start”. Happy National Adoption Day.

Sarah:
My name is Sarah, I’m 37 weeks pregnant, and I chose adoption because it was the best opportunity for me to be involved in my child’s life and get back on my feet and with life circumstances that’s what I needed to do.

Sarah:
I chose Building Arizona Families because they’re the one program that has an aftercare program. That’s really important, especially when you’re going through something that’s so emotional and life changing that impacts your whole life and your child’s life.

Sarah:
If you’re considering adoption, weigh the pros and cons of not just what you want to do but what you’re realistically able to do. You have to be logical about it all. We all want certain things but a big part of having a child is giving that up and realizing what is needed. And that to me, how I had to make the decision.

Sarah:
Yes, I would love to do a lot of different things in my life and with this child and whatnot, but I need to be realistic and not set myself up for failure. I need to set myself up for success and this child for success.

Cody:
My name is Cody and I chose Building Arizona Families for adoption. I had had a lot of friends that had gone through, they had a lot of good experiences with them and adoption was something that I was considering at the time.

Cody:
I placed my baby up for adoption in December of 2017. She’s with a really good family. They live out of state, but I still contact them on a day to day basis if I want to. I have contact with my child, so I get pictures and updates on my Instagram and stuff, which just really makes the experience a lot easier to cope with and stuff.

Cody:
My case manager is awesome. She works really, really hard with us and she made it a lot easier to want to stay and to deal with it, you know what I mean? I wasn’t at a very good spot in my life at the time.

Cody:
I’ve got two other children that are with my parents and it just seemed like the most fair chance I could have given that baby.

Cody:
The advice that it gives somebody in my kind of situation would be not to be selfish about it. You can’t think about yourself and how you’re going to feel. You have to think about how the baby’s going to feel. I mean, if you’re sitting there in life and you wouldn’t have your baby right next to where you’re at in the room that you’re at that very second, then why not give it a better chance and the chance that you had.

Cody:
I wanted her to be able to experience everything in life. Grow up and have a family there all the time. A mom and a dad, and supportive, and have siblings and everything else like that. I wanted her to have every opportunity that I never had and a million more.

Cody:
What I liked best about Building Arizona Families was the people that came with the company. My case manager was great. I was accepted because they understood the situation that I was in. Nobody was judging me for what I had done or what caused me to get to that point in life. They could relate to everything and it made everything a lot easier to deal with.

Ron Reigns:
We have a pregnancy crisis hotline available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112, or you can call our toll-free number +1 800-340-9665. We can make an immediate appointment with you to get you to a safe place, provide food and clothing, and started on creating an Arizona adoption plan or give you more information. You can check out our blogs on our website at AZpregnancyhealth.com. Thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters and Adoption, written and produced by Kelly Rourke-Scarry and edited by me, Ron Reigns. If you enjoy this podcast rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts, and as always thanks to Grapes for letting us use their song, I Dunno as our theme song. Join us next time for Birth Mother Matters in Adoption for Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m Ron Reigns and we’ll see you then.