Ron Reigns:
Welcome, and thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with Kelly Rourke-Scarry and me Ron Reigns, where we delve into the issues of adoption from every angle of the adoption triad.
Speaker 2:
Do what’s best for your kid and for yourself, because if you can’t take care of yourself, you’re definitely not going to be able to take care of that kid, and that’s not fair.
Speaker 3:
And I know that my daughter would be well taken care of with them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Don’t have an abortion. Give this child a chance.
Speaker 5:
All I could think about was needing to save my son.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My name is Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m the executive director, president, and co-founder of Building Arizona Families adoption agency, the Donna Kay Evans foundation, and creator of the You Before Me campaign. I have a bachelors degree in Family Studies and Human Development, and a masters degree in education with an emphasis in school counseling. I was adopted at the age of three days, born to a teen birth mother, raised in a closed adoption, and reunited with my birth mother in 2007. I have worked in the adoption field for over 15 years.
Ron Reigns:
And I’m Ron Reigns. I’ve worked in radio since 1999. I was the co-host of two successful morning shows in Prescott, Arizona. Now I work for my wife, who’s an adoption attorney, and I’m able to combine these two great passions and share them on this podcast.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Today’s podcast is going to be about adoption news and adoption updates, what’s happening around the nation regarding adoption and COVID and abortion and everything coming together. So our first topic is something that is a feel good, lighthearted story. Ron?
Ron Reigns:
Yeah, I like this, Ron. This is cool news from Gerber. After featuring nearly a dozen tiny brand ambassadors as the face of its baby food and other early childhood products, Gerber announced that they’ve chosen the first adopted spokes baby in their 92 year history. Magnolia Earl of Ross, California, was picked from over 327,000 entrants submitted to the company’s website.
Ron Reigns:
Magnolia, who just recently turned one, captured the hearts of the judging panel with her joyful expression, playful smile, and warm, engaging gaze. Last year, the family got a call about a mother in labor who wanted to talk, so they pulled off the highway, they got a chance to connect with the is amazing birth parents, and just a few hours later, Magnolia was born. The family sees this winning photo search as a chance to tell this sweet little girl story. Magnolia has two older sisters, Whitney who’s 12 and Charlotte eight, who is also adopted.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think that, first of all, hats off to Gerber for not just picking an absolutely adorable and beautiful little girl.
Ron Reigns:
Right, which she is, she is absolutely that, she really is cute.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
She is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I mean, she is just, you look at her and you can’t help but smile.
Ron Reigns:
Right, absolutely.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And the fact that she is adopted on top of it just adds another layer of love. And I get chills when I look at her because she’s just so cute.
Ron Reigns:
Sweet little baby.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I mean, she really, really, really is just precious. So I think they picked an amazing little girl and hopefully this will bring more awareness to adoption, as well. So thank you Gerber for making such a great choice.
Ron Reigns:
So, next we’re going to Benton, Arkansas. The first newborn to be legally surrendered under the state’s new Safe Haven law was dropped off at a Benton fire station. The baby boy is healthy, and right now he’s in the custody of the Department of Family Services waiting for his forever family. Fire station number three is the only Safe Haven baby box in the state, and this is the seventh newborn to be dropped off inside a Safe Haven baby box nationwide.
Ron Reigns:
Monica Kelsey, the founder of Safe Haven Baby Box was also abandoned at birth. She said that the mothers of these babies have one thing in common. They’re just in crisis that you and I may not know or understand. Out of the seven babies that have been surrendered in the baby boxes, five have reached out and received services and information. And one just wanted to thank the organization for letting her remain anonymous.
Ron Reigns:
The baby is healthy and safe. Kelsey wanted to praise the birth mother for making a tough decision. Now, according to the Arkansas Safe Haven law, it allows parents to bring a child 30 days or younger to an employee at any hospital emergency room, manned fire station or law enforcement agency without facing prosecution for endangering or abandoning the child. A parent can also use a safety device, the baby box, that’s install installed in the exterior wall of a fire station or hospital to ensure 100% anonymity for the parent.
Ron Reigns:
Once the baby is surrendered, the Arkansas Department of Human Services will facilitate an adoption for the baby to be placed in a permanent home. Kelsey said the baby will probably thank the mother someday as she did her own birth mother. She said, you are selfless, you are heroic, and one day I pray that you’ll reach out was so that I can personally thank you for this beautiful story that we live on forever in Benton, Arkansas.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Found this story to be absolutely amazing. So I guess, Kelsey, the woman who is working with Safe Haven was one of the women who it looks like she was also a baby that was placed for adoption, as well. The KTV News was the one who we received this information from. So Kelsey was abandoned at birth. And so I guess she’s paying it forward. So I think that is amazing.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Now I want to make one point that’s really important, regarding Safe Haven babies. When they say there’s only seven in a nation that have had the box used, that doesn’t mean that there’s only been seven Safe Haven babies. Building Arizona Families is a Safe Haven location during our working hours and we don’t have a box. Somebody would come in and hand the baby to us, if that was the case, and then walk out. We have not had a Safe Haven baby handed to us, but we actually have placed at least two Safe Haven babies.
Ron Reigns:
Okay, great.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So I think that that is absolutely a wonderful choice for moms who are in a predicament where they feel they have no other options. By having a Safe Haven law and having it publicized and so people know what it is, we are going to prevent situations like, do you remember prom mom?
Ron Reigns:
Yes, absolutely.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And those type of scenarios. So I think that Safe Haven is doing an amazing thing. We’re huge supporters. Like I said, we are a Safe Haven drop off location, and we’ve been trained by the Safe Haven personnel. We know what to do if somebody was to come in and again, a good on Kelsey for taking what happened to her and making it into something beautiful.
Ron Reigns:
Well, I definitely equated this story to you and what you’ve done with your life.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Thank you.
Ron Reigns:
Because you were adopted and you thought I’m going to, the same way, pay this forward and maybe make the world a little better place. So congrats to both of you.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Thank you.
Ron Reigns:
All right, this next one actually is going to be a little tough because I’m actually literally reading this letter. So this was an open letter to FX Network to the FX Entertainment chairman, John Landgraf and the director of AKA Jane Rowe, Nick Sweeney. And it’s from pro-life advocates who actually knew Norma McCorvey. The letter says, “Dear Mr. Landgraf and Mr. Sweeney, the following is a joint statement from the pro-life leaders who knew her, some for decades, some who took her into their homes and shared their lives for years in response to the widespread media reports on FX, on the FX AKA Jane Roe documentary that focuses on Norma McCorvey set to air Friday, May 22nd.
Ron Reigns:
Not content with trashing pro life hero. Phyllis Schlafly, FX has now set its sites on the pro-choice heroine turned pro-life heroine, Norma McCorvey, Roe of Roe V. Wade. Most of us have seen caricatures of ourselves in the media made possible by selective editing, outright omissions and direct falsehoods. An entertainment enterprise is the last place any of us would seek out for facts on women whom we all actually knew, loved and admired.
Ron Reigns:
Norma was a woman who lived a complicated life and experienced many heartaches. She struggled to make her place in the world, but she never sought an abortion or had one though, the minds behind Roe V. Wade implied the opposite. She regretted the way she was used in the case that ultimately carried her name. We knew this because she said so directly to many of us. And as we personally knew, she carried her pro-life convictions with pride and passion and in a sworn affidavit, affirmed her convictions signing her name to the statement.
Ron Reigns:
I obviously advocated legalized abortion for many years, following Roe v. Wade, but working in abortion clinics forced me to accept what abortion really is. It’s a violent act which kills human beings and destroys the peace and the real interests of mothers involved.
Ron Reigns:
At the end of her life, some of us engaged with Norma and were able to spend time with her. This also makes us wonder the about broader context of the conversations presented in this edited documentary design to shock and undermined her story. We ask for the unedited footage of the exchanges to see for ourselves just what was left on the proverbial cutting room floor. With the strength of the pro-life movement throwing that Supreme Court decision back into the balance, the abortion industry and its media lackies are scrambling to rewrite history and shift public sentiment in favor of Roe in order to protect abortion.
Ron Reigns:
What does it mean to support Roe v. Wade? It means supporting an unjust and unconstitutional ruling that sanctioned the violent killings of 60 million American children and counting and it means applauding the death count that grows by the thousands each day. It means protecting the license to kill. The bottom line is that the woman we knew personally does not resemble the woman portrayed on FX, which is why we skeptically reject a production that came out after Norma’s death, when she couldn’t correct the record for herself, or which contradicted her earlier statements.
Ron Reigns:
Fact checked FX, your production doesn’t line up with the decades of friendship we personally shared with Norma. FX, we don’t believe you and we want to see the raw footage. We look forward to your response. Sincerely, pro-leaders who knew and worked with Norma.” And then they list all the people who supported this letter and were involved in it.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
As we spoken in the previous podcast, I was very disheartened at the way society took a woman and basically pushed her to the forefront and used her and manipulated her on both sides, I think.
Ron Reigns:
Absolutely.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And I think her life was tragic. I think that she was very much exploited. I think she was, again, manipulated. I think she was looking for acceptance and she was looking to be a part of something bigger because she had so few connections with people. Her daughter was being raised by her mother. She was sent off to a correctional school at 15. She was really just looking to make that connection and feel good about herself.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so I think this letter is a hundred percent valid. I, too, would very much like to see the unedited version. I think that we need to remember, as well, when we watch this documentary, that there was an agenda and a purpose for it. So statements made by Norma that are going to support the end goal of the producers of this documentary are going to be the ones selected.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Now, do I think that this woman went backwards and forwards in her decision? Yes, I do. I do not think that she had a genuine opinion on it. I mean, like her own opinion. I think she did look to get an abortion herself. So she, at one point in her life, was not pro-life, but she never had one. So, I don’t know. What do you think?
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Well, first of all, I think that the documentary was more even handed than I expected it to be. It did lean a little more towards the pro-choice side, but I thought it was going to be very heavy handed and I didn’t find it to be that. I also think that possibly this letter was written, it seems like, before they had actually seen the documentary.
Ron Reigns:
And I agree with you that she tended to cling onto the side that was accepting her at any given time, and she would say what they wanted her to say. And I don’t think she really had a strong opinion one way or another. She espoused to have a strong opinion both ways at different times. So, I don’t know. It’s tough. I would like to see the unedited for footage. Maybe that would bring more light to it, because I do think it leaned a little towards the one side as opposed to the other. But again, I don’t think it was as ham fisted as I thought it was going to be.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I agree. Another thing, too, is that when I watched her, I have spoken with over a thousand women who have come to our adoption agency to make an adoption plan. So I’ve spoken with, like I said, numerous, I stopped counting at a thousand, over the years. And I will say that she did place for adoption. She very much represents the birth mothers that I see and work with in a sense that she is a survivor, she will do what it takes to live the life that she wants to live. And she knows what to say. And I’m not saying that that in a bad way, I’m saying it in a sense that she’s a survivor. And she will do what it takes to survive. So in the documentary, she states I am a good actress. I would actually beg to differ. I don’t believe that she was ever acting.
Ron Reigns:
Right. You think that at any given time she-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think she believed what she was saying at that time, yeah.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Okay, that makes total sense.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. I think also if there is any way that you and I can get a hold of that footage, I would love to watch it with you, because I think that that would really help us a understand more about this and be able to shed more light for our listeners. So I will actually have our media person reach out and see if we can get it.
Ron Reigns:
Now, do you think that footage is ever going to be released to anybody?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think if they want to maintain credibility, it will.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. They’re not CNN or a news network. They are an entertainment network. So if they declined completely and said, no, it’s ours, you don’t get it, then I wouldn’t be surprised because they don’t care about their credibility when it comes to documentaries. How many do they make?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I don’t know that they make that many.
Ron Reigns:
They did one of my favorites, Justified, and it was an entertaining show, but that’s what they do. They’re an entertainment network, not a news network.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But I think that when you put out a serious documentary, you want to be viewed as a credible source. And I know that with our agency, one of the main thing that I preach and practice is transparency. And if we were being questioned on something, I would absolutely release it because I’d want to be transparent. And so we’ll see if they take the same approach.
Ron Reigns:
Let’s hope.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So, yep, we will reach out and see what happens. We have all been watching the fluctuations in COVID 19. One minute they’re telling us, don’t wear a mask. And then they’re telling us no, do wear a mask. And they’re telling us to wear gloves. And now they’re retracting that and saying that we don’t need to wear gloves. And I just want everyone out there listening to know that as an agency, we are taking all precautions. We have posted our COVID guidelines that we are following on our website. And we’re also posting it to our social media sites this week, as well. So we recognize that things change. We are following not only what the CDC is recommending, but what the Arizona Department of Child Safety is following, as well. Hopefully everybody is out there and staying safe and staying well.
Ron Reigns:
Thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption. If you’re listening and you’re dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, Building Arizona Families is a local Arizona adoption agency and available 24/7 phone or text at (623)-695-4112. That’s (623)-695-4112. We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona adoption plan, or just get you more information.
Ron Reigns:
You can also find out more information about Building Arizona Families on their website at azpregnancyhelp.com. Thanks also go out to Grapes for allowing us to use their song I Don’t Know as our theme song. Birth Mother Matters in Adoption written and produced by Kelly Rourke-Scarry, and edited by me. Please rate and review this podcast, wherever you’re listening to us, we’d really appreciate it. We also now have a website at birthmothermatterspodcast.com. Tune in next time on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption for Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m Ron Reigns.