A birth mother’s adoption journey is unique to her – but having helped thousands of birth mothers with adoption, we have identified some common thoughts and feelings. Addressing these common thoughts and feelings may help you know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. It also may help society better understand the beauty of adoption and become more supportive and sensitive to courageous birthmothers. When a birth mother is placing a baby for adoption in Arizona, she deserves ample support and assistance to help her along her adoption journey because she is making a very selfless decision.
Birth Mothers Common Fears When Placing a Baby for Adoption in Arizona
Below are 10 of the most common fears a birth mother may experience when she is planning on placing a baby for adoption in Arizona:
1. People will think I am a terrible person, a bad mom, and they will never look at me the same.
You are a selfless, courageous person for choosing life and the gift of adoption. It is important for others as well as yourself to see how truly incredible the choice is that you are making. It is the gift of life – the most precious gift a mother can give a child.
2. What if no one wants my baby?
There is always a family waiting. There are most likely many families who would love to adopt your baby. Many times, birth mothers worry that their baby will not be adopted due to race, in-utero substance use, multiple potential birth fathers, religion, etc. Believe us, these factors will not prevent your baby from finding an incredible and beautiful adoptive family!
3. What if the adoptive parents don’t follow through on our open adoption plan?
Depending on what state the adoptive family is finalizing the adoption in, Post Adoption Communication Agreements are legally binding. If necessary, you would have legal grounds to enforce your open adoption agreement. This rarely happens, and many times, the adoptive family and the birth mother have a closer relationship and more communication than agreed upon.
4. What if I change my mind?
This happens, and as long as you make an adoption plan with absolute intent of placing your baby for adoption, there is nothing to worry about. There is only a concern when you are knowingly deceiving an adoption agency and adoptive family.
5. What will I tell people when they ask about my pregnancy?
It is your choice to choose what and how much you say. Your pregnancy isn’t any different from any one else’s, whether or not you are doing an adoption. Open up with others to the level of your comfort.
6. Will the OBGYN Office judge me?
Absolutely not! OBGYN Offices are very familiar with adoption and usually view it as a fantastic option!
7. How will I know if I choose the “right” adoptive family?
Your agency will ask you what type of family you are interested in and what your “ideal” preferences are. They will then show you adoptive families that meet your preferred criteria. Often, birth mothers tell me that they instantly knew when they saw the adoptive family they chose; it was a gut instinct.
8. What if I have used drugs during my pregnancy – will the adoptive family still want my baby?
Yes. It is important to disclose all substance use to your adoption agency when placing a baby for adoption in Arizona. We want to make sure that you are matched with an adoptive family that is open to a substance-exposed baby and is prepared for any medical issues that may arise.
9. What if the father of my baby changes his mind and wants the baby?
It depends on the state – in Arizona if he has been served with an adoption notice and has not responded within 30 days and his time has passed without any paternity actions, then he may no longer have any say about halting the adoption.
10. I will be alone after the baby is placed for adoption.
You can choose not to be alone. With our agency (Building Arizona Families / AZ Pregnancy Help), we have an aftercare program at the same facility as the adoption agency. There are group counseling sessions, classes, and other activities for you to engage with other birth mothers. Additionally, you can focus on you and work on achieving your dreams and we will support you!
Building Arizona Families Supports and Encourages our Birth Mothers During Adoption Journey
Choosing adoption means choosing an option with support, aftercare, and access to financial resources. Adoption is a beautiful choice and one that is becoming increasingly popular. If you are pregnant and considering placing a baby for adoption in Arizona, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona adoption agency. We believe in adoption aftercare services and have a program on-site to provide continued support through the Donna K. Evans Foundation. You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112. You are not alone, and we want to help, learn more HERE! Thank you for considering adoption. You are making a courageous, selfless choice!